Recipe 2

Clarence adds a recipe to his database every week.

This is the second one.

It’s for blueberry and coconut pudding


50g castor sugar, or the pretend stuff, if you really have to.

50g soft butter or a lower fat equivalent, which doesn’t taste anywhere near as good.

1 large egg

50g self-raising flour

50g desiccated coconut and a bit extra if you can sneak it in without being seen.

50g crème fraiche and some in a jug on the table. Cream is much nicer.

Zest and juice 1 lemon. That’s OK. Whoop di do.

180g of blueberries fresh from the pots in the garden. If you have one, a garden I mean. And pots.


You can grow blueberries with patience and acidic soil.

You must use rainwater, never tap water , and give them lots of tender loving care.

Mum and me had them lined up against the wall of the cottage, away from the wind, and we pruned them back between February and March.

They were the Spartan variety. Like us. They tasted like heaven.

Tesco’s express blueberries aren’t like that and Sam’s breathing down my neck talking about diabetes.

It’s not the same.

But I’ll give it a go.


  1. Heat the oven to 160 if it has a fan in it like this one. If it’s a more sensible, and better, oven like the one me and Mum had in the cottage it is gas mark 4. Beat the SUGAR and BUTTER until its smooth and then beat in the egg. Stir in the flour, coconut, crème dullsville and lemon zest.
  2. Find a square baking dish if you can. The only ones my sister seems to have are octagon shaped which is plain dumb. Put most of the shop bought and squishy blueberries, which taste like soap,  into it and then squeeze half the lemon juice on top. Be careful with the pips, you don’t want those in there. Put it all on top of the cake mixture, spread it flattish and then throw the rest of the blueberries and TONS of coconut on top. Add some extra SUGAR if you can get away with it. Bake for 35-40 minutes when it should have risen up and the sponge will be cooked.
  3. Serve it with BUCKETS of CREAM and a defiant look.

I’m going to grow some proper Spartan blueberries on Sam’s balcony.

For Mum.

All images used in this post are by Marius van Dokkum
All images used in this post are by Marius van Dokkum

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